Saturday, December 30, 2006

A resolution kept

The other day I was thinking about changes that need to be made in my life. In other words I was thinking about resolutions. To be honest, I am not overly attracted to the New Year’s resolution thing. It’s not that I’m against such things, per se. It’s just that I think it is silly to wait until January 1 to begin. Of course it can also be argued that any “excuse” for positive change is a good one. So be it.

Of course there is a much bigger problem when it comes to resolutions, which is that I seem so unwilling/unable to follow through with them. Thus, the other day as I walked around thinking about changes that I should make, it dawned on me (for about the millionth time!) that I keep on hoping for the same things . . . and I keep on failing. I even said to myself, “What makes this promise any different than any of the others?” You know how that feels, don’t you? You say to yourself that this time will be different. This time you will be more sincere or determined or whatever. Yeah, right.

Okay, so I am spiritually inept. This might explain why I sometimes find myself saying things like, “Man, I am an idiot. Will I ever change? Lord, I promise that this time I will ___________.” Yeah, right. Of course we shouldn’t minimize these promises, these determinations of ours. Indeed, who knows, perhaps we are making progress, albeit very slowly. So, I guess we should continue with our resolutions. But–and this is essential–there is also something else to consider.

While I was feeling sorry for myself and going back and forth between frustration and determination, it dawned on me that one thing hasn’t changed. One resolution has been kept. One person has not gone back on his promise. God was still there with/for me! Amazingly, he was still there to hear my complaints, my poor excuses for repentance, my pitiful confessions, my not-so-sincere determinations to change. He was still there to listen to me, forgive me, absorb my wrongs, and walk by my side.

None of this should surprise me, of course. After all, he did say that he would love me with an everlasting love, that he would be with me until the end of the age. How incredibly thankful I (we) should be that he does not forsake me (us)! How immensely grateful I (we) should be that his love is a gracious and merciful determination and not one that dependents on my (our) faulty resolutions!

Who knows, if I were to think more often of his indestructible commitment to me, if I were to contemplate more regularly how infinite his love is, even my defective promises might be slightly more efficacious. Perhaps, this is what is intended when we read that “we love because he first loved us.” Yeah, his love undergirds and guides and sustains our efforts. Indeed, as weak as our resolutions may be, his are firm, certain, and driven by immutable love. What do you know–a resolution that is kept!

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